Do an End-Run Around Big Brother
by
Eric Peters
EricPetersAutos.com
IÂ’ve begun
noticing a lot more older cars on the road. And they are not headed
to an antique car show, either. Almost every day, on my way into
town, I pass a guy driving a mid-70?s era Pontiac Sunbird. Then
thereÂ’s the other guy with the orange and brown Pinto. I see
him at least once a week. And lately, IÂ’m encountering Old
Beetles seemingly all the time. There was a bright yellow one pulling
into Starbucks just this past Sunday; a silver one (a Super Beetle)
was at the gym today.
I take it as
a sign. A good sign.
People are
beginning to revolt. No, wait. Revolt is not the right word. People
are opting out.
Own an old
car – and by “old” I mean something that doesn’t
have a computer, which means built before about 1981, the first
year computer controls became common – and you do an end-run
around Big Brother. Or at least, you run between his legs and make
good your escape before he can grab you.
Generally,
you wonÂ’t have to deal with emissions tests (and the fees that
come with emissions tests). In most states, vehicles over a certain
age – or built before a certain model year – are exempted
from emissions testing. The usual standard is 21 years or older
– or built before 1967, the first year for the first very primitive
emissions controls. Even if you do have to submit to emissions testing,
the “pass” standard is much lower because it’s based
on the standards in effect at the time of the carÂ’s manufacture,
which were orders of magnitude less stringent than now. ItÂ’s
usually just a matter of adjusting the carburetor or ignition timing
– or putting in a new set of spark plugs.
Minor maintenance
may be necessary more often with an older car, but itÂ’ll usually
be fairly simple and inexpensive. Stuff an average person can deal
with on his (or her) own, with basic hand tools, a manual and a
little gumption. Contrast that with the feeling of impotence that
envelops you when a modern car justÂ… stops. Or that
“check engine” light comes on. Sure, you can have the
computer “scanned for codes” – but what do the codes
mean? Stuff begins to get complicated – and beyond the
skills (and tool set) of the average person. Hello, Mr. Dealer –
and $70 per hour shop rates.
When you drive
an older, non-computer-controlled car, you can wave good-bye
instead.
Other things
you can say good-bye to include annual registration fees (in states
that have “antique vehicle” tags, which unlike standard
car tags are often permanent and donÂ’t ever have to renewed),
high insurance premiums (buy a cheap, liability-only policy) and
personal property taxes (in states that have them). But most of
all, you can wave good-bye to a monthly car payment – and cut
your transportation costs to the bone.
$10,000 or
so can buy you an excellent condition old car from the Â’70s,
provided youÂ’re not shopping for a car thatÂ’s (currently)
collectible, such as a Camaro or Mustang. $5,000 or so will usually
get a nice driver – mechanically sound and looks good, too.
That Pontiac
Sunbird I mentioned in the beginning of this article was for sale
locally. Asking price? $4,100. Old Beetles in solid mechanical and
cosmetic shape are available for about the same coin, at least in
my area. Good places to cruise for inexpensive old cars that would
make for great daily drivers include Craigs List and your local
Auto Trader publications. About three years ago I almost bought
(and regret not having bought) a mint condition, one-owner 1974
Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham dÂ’Elegance. Chocolate Brown metallic,
500 cubic inch V-8 under the hood and more room inside than a new
Mercedes S-Class. For $3,500. The brown shark may not have had air
bags, but it did have mass. And sure, it drank gas –
but so does a new S-Class. And the gas guzzler tax alone
on the S-Class is about as much as the cost of the old Caddy itself.
These old cars
– if they’re factory stock – are also immune from
EMPs (electromagnetic pulses, which fry modern transistorized electronics)
which is an issue not just for SHTF-type scenarios. There are devices
now in service with “law enforcement” that generate a
mini-EMP in order to disable individual cars. A pursuing cop pushes
a button, sends out the EMP device and your car is toast. Of course,
no one in this free country should ever have any legitimate reason
to want to flee from a copÂ… .
But, the bottom
line isn’t that people are going loco – they’re just
opting out of all the rigmarole. Since they canÂ’t buy
a new (or recent vintage) car that doesnÂ’t have a computer
nanny under the hood (and Big Brother riding shotgun, too), air
bags and all the rest of it, theyÂ’re doing the only thing they
can do, which is buy something old that hasnÂ’t got all that
stuff.
ItÂ’s a
way out – and it can be a lot of fun, too.
Which is why
it likely wonÂ’t be long before the government puts an end to
it somehow. Probably by announcing that cars built before a certain
year, that don’t have computer controls, are “not safe”
and so no longer legal to operate on public roads. When I was a
kid, I used to listen to the rock band, Rush – and their song,
Red Barchetta.
Dystopian fantasy
then.
Tomorrow, it
could very easily become our reality.
So: Go old
while you still can.
Reprinted
with permission from EricPetersAutos.com.
January
6, 2012
Eric Peters
[send him mail] is an automotive
columnist and author of Automotive
Atrocities and Road Hogs (2011). Visit his
website.
Copyright
© 2012 Eric Peters