The Olympic games have given us a
healthy dose of entertainment two days before the opening
ceremony.

Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristou has become the first
athlete to be kicked off an Olympic squad for something said on
social media after
tweeting the following:

With so many Africans in Greece … at least the West Nile
mosquitos will eat homemade food!!!

Moroccan runner Mariem
Selsouli has failed a drug test. This is her second time
testing positive for a banned substance and she now faces a
lifetime ban.

In a “you couldn’t write this” level gaffe the North Korean
women’s soccer team temporarily
boycotted their game against Colombia after their images were
put next to a South Korean flag. The real Korean drama is scheduled
for next week when North Korea and South Korea face each other in
table tennis.

Off the fields and out of the locker rooms there is more
news.

The Washington Post is reporting that bets are being waged
on the chance of a UFO appearing at the opening ceremony (1000 to
1) and London Mayor Boris Johnson having his hair set alight by the
Olympic torch (33 to 1).

A strike by border staff that had been planned for tomorrow
has been
cancelled, though what the government offered workers in order
to have the busiest airport in the world operating functionally on
one of the busiest days in its history is unclear.

The spectators who do arrive without incident to London will be
able to enjoy the Olympic Village and its surroundings in East
London where bakers have been
banned from displaying their certain shaped goods in a certain
formation thanks to the Olympic Committee. Choice of where to
go for fries is restricted (unless you get some fish), thanks to

McDonald’s demanding that they be the sole supplier of fries
during the Olympics.

I for one plan to enjoy winning a little bit of money watching
Bojo’s hair catch fire during the opening ceremony Friday, watching
Handball on Saturday and Canoeing on Sunday, all while waiting to
see how many more drug dopers and racists we can get kicked out of
the games while getting the flags screwed up. 

London’s Mayor welcomes you to the games: