Call it the circular firing
squad or the pot calling the kettle black or the hoisting of the
jackanapes on his own petard (actually, please call it that last
one). Years ago, esteemed Hit Run commenter
R C Dean considered the law under which anybody who points out
a “typo, misspelling or grammatical error” will in turn commit
“some kind of typographical, spelling, or grammatical offense.”

Now Scott
Stein sifts through a CNN comment thread that puts the snicket in
persnickety to find a tragic example of Dean’s Law in
action. (Will we ever learn?) 

One or two commenters blow the whistle on the author’s violation
of the underpublicized “I’ve got” injunction. But no sooner
have the grammar constables taken off after the illiterate
wordstress than they are besunken in a slough of misplaced
subjunctives and possessive pitfalls: 

“I’ve got nearly 20 years of experience in the classroom…”

I’ve got – if it wasn’t so sad, it would be funny.

And: 

You’re opinion died at “got”. Sorry.

Very
funny. All the usual characters show up for the Hobbesian
copyedit of all against all. Even the romantic who sings that we
must cast aside these Latinate chains that bind our rough Teutonic
tongue and give full Nordic will to the Queen’s English. That
person goes by the name Uthor and calls people Nazis. (Isn’t there
a Web 1.0 rule about that too?)

If anybody knows the logic behind the prohibition on “I’ve got,”
please pipe up in the comments. Extra credit to anybody who can
explain why “the fact that” is grounds for public ridicule.